If you’re thinking about getting back with an ex, you’re probably a tad wary of how it might go, right? Maybe you’ll pick up where you left off (Ben Affleck and JLO style), like no time has passed — or maybe you’ll end up realizing why you broke up in the first place.
Either way, we have ten tips and advice for getting back with an ex:
1. Take Time Before Reaching Out
Why do you want to get back together? Did you suddenly realize what you lost or believe the relationship can be revived? Or are you just feeling a little lonely?
Even if you didn’t end on great terms, it’s only natural to miss an ex. That said, make sure you’re not pouncing on any temptations too quickly. Take time to really reflect on why you want to reach out.
2. Consider Why the Relationship Ended
Did you end things amicably or was it a bitter ending (such as cheating)? It’s easy to forget about the negatives when you’re missing an ex, but thinking about why you broke up can help you determine whether getting back together is really the best option.
3. Think About What Will Be Different This Time
Do you need to improve communication or rebuild trust? Are you planning to work on your conflict management? Take some serious time to consider what’s going to be different when you get back with an ex and whether it’s actually plausible.
4. Address the Breakup With Your Ex
You can’t just jump back into a relationship and pretend that the breakup never happened, right? Talk to each other about what you’ve learned from your initial split before giving it another chance.
5. Keep Your Friends and Family in the Loop
After the breakup, maybe you said some things about your ex that were…less than flattering. But if you’re going to get back together, it’s important to talk to your friends and family. Maybe they’re opposed to or unsure about your decision, but keeping it a secret will only cause tension.
6. Put Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes
Here’s a great way to determine whether you’re getting back with an ex for the right reasons: can you imagine your best friend doing the same thing? Imagining yourself as a neutral third party can help you determine whether you’re making the right choice.
7. Have a Trial Period
You don’t know for sure whether getting back with an ex will be successful, so why not give it a trial run first? It gives you a preview of things to come and whether you want to stick with it.
8. Take It Slow
It’s so tempting to jump back into each other’s arms after a separation period, but you need to be realistic. Remember, it ended for a reason at some point, so reuniting at full-speed is a quick way to break up again.
9. Leave the Past in the Past
While you shouldn’t forget what happened during your initial relationship, it’s important not to let it interfere with your rekindled romance. Instead, use it as a learning experience to help you avoid making the same mistakes again.
10. Know When It’s Time to Say Goodbye
Unfortunately, there are times when two people just aren’t meant to be. If you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of making up and breaking up over and over, it might signal that the two of you just aren’t compatible.
Getting back with an ex is always a risky move, but if you keep these tips in mind, stay honest and open with each other, and put in sincere effort, you can definitely make it work!